Week 2 at the Oracle University

Excuse me. Another Oracle Rant.

ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS ! ORACLE SUCKS !

Sample of STUPID error message:
ERROR: ORA-01034: ORACLE not available ORA-27101: shared memory realm does not exist Linux Error: 2: No such file or directory

Comments

81.5.185.234

Have you tried “show error”? Simple, but deadly

Comment by Jamie Kitson — 2005-07-03

207.224.9.245

Oracle blows goats.

Comment by Oracle Can Kiss My Ass — 2005-07-28

61.9.136.168

I feel your pain brothers.

Comment by hendry — 2005-07-28

91.109.115.31

Biggest pile of frotage i’ve ever used.

Who thinks to themselves, “I know, we’ll make a stupidly over the top program so poor joe bloggs who has to do some jumped up shiz of an assignment using the damn thing will never ever be able to use it.

ERROR:
ORA-01034: ORACLE not available
ORA-27101: shared memory realm does not exist
Linux Error: 2: No such file or directory

What does any of it mean!? I’ve hit about 40 errors just trying to get into sql plus so I can write a load of crap that I don’t even want to do! And I can’t even start the bloody crap writing because the sodding program won’t let me do jack crap. Have their devlopers never heard of ‘ease of use’. Writing assembly language in the dark is fun compared to this pile of bum gravy! Fuming!!!!

Comment by Oracle ate my baby — 2008-12-22